The New Old Age Blog: In the Middle: Helping Unhappy Couples

A post on Monday discussed the forces that can make an older couple’s good marriage suddenly go bad — an array of subtle, and often-misunderstood, mental, physical and emotional factors that can upset the equilibrium of even the happiest marriages.

Now we have consulted marriage counselors and geriatricians to find out what caregivers — either the grown children of the couple, or one of the spouses involved– can do to help restore peace and balance to these relationships. The experts consulted uniformly agreed that even older people can at least take steps to reduce tensions and improve their relationship, even if they cannot actually change. (Really, who can, at any age?)

“Even though the situation may seem overwhelming, take heart,” said Dr. Gordon Herz, a psychologist in private practice in Madison, Wisc., who specializes in neuropsychology and rehabilitation psychology. “Couples who have been together for 60 years tend to have worked out ways to manage conflict – or they wouldn’t still be together.”

Retreat to a neutral corner

When grown children see their parents fight, many want to run and hide. But those who are assuming an increased caregiving role often feel impelled to jump in and “fix” the problem, as they do with the other caregiving issues.

If you are so inclined, experts speak with one loud voice to advise: Don’t!

Trying to act as emotional broker between your parents can backfire. (Now they tell me! Suffice it to say that after one such effort my sister said to me in not exactly the friendliest tone, “Well, that went well, didn’t it?”)

“It’s better if your parents can find somebody else to talk to than you,” said Dr. Nancy K. Schlossberg, professor emerita of counseling psychology at the University of Maryland and the author of “Overwhelmed: Coping With Life’s Ups and Downs.”

Don’t give up on marital therapy

“Marital therapy for individuals over 65 years of age is difficult, since habits of a lifetime are deeply ingrained,” stated a study in The Canadian Journal of Medicine, one of the few in the medical literature about marital therapy among older people.

“Yet, in a sense, marital therapy is more crucial for the elderly than for younger patients,” the study continued. “At a time when they are least adaptable and most vulnerable to stress and are entering perhaps the most difficult period of their lives, the elderly must learn new methods of relating and coping” because of the physical and mental changes described in our earlier post.

There’s another reason learning to cope with life changes as a couple is even more critical for older couples: Unlike younger couples, the elderly are rarely in a position to leave the marriage and start over.

Help at least one spouse get counseling

What if only half the couple is ready to seek counseling? Not a problem, therapists said. “You want to help the part of the couple that is suffering,” said Dr. Elaine Rodino, a therapist in private practice in State College, Penn. “The other person may still be the curmudgeon, but I think of it as the law of physics: When you change one aspect of the formula, things change in the total.”

When dementia affects one of the spouses, therapy can help the caregiving spouse learn coping techniques, “which can reduce the marital discord and stress that can make conditions, especially cognitive difficulties, worse,” said Dr. William Dale, chief of geriatrics at the University of Chicago Geriatrics Medicine.

Consider the general practitioner or internist

If the couple won’t see a marriage counselor or therapist, can a family doctor be of any use? The experts had mixed responses.

Many pointed out that general practitioners have neither the time nor the training to offer much relationship help, unless the origin of the problem is exclusively physical. Others thought they could be of use, if given a little direction from the family.

“I encourage the kids to talk to the doctor in advance and let him know something is going on – signs of depression or other problems the parents won’t talk about,” advised Dr. Dale, adding that a consultation with a geriatrician who is more familiar with problems of the aging might be even more productive. “Then the doctor can say, ‘Gee, you sound really frustrated or down — are there any reasons we can explore?’”

Don’t overlook the importance of intimacy

“Mutually stimulating sexual relationships need care and feeding by both partners at any age, but especially in the geriatric years,” according to a study on marital therapy for the elderly. “The need for physical contact, warmth and touching perhaps reaches a peak in this age of loneliness, decreased self-esteem and poor health.”

Forget the idea that elderly couples are too shy to talk about intimacy, insisted Dr. Rodino. “I saw a couple in their 80s, the husband was getting penile injections at the doctor’s office, and then they hurried home to have sex.”

But Dr. Rodino does concede that for older patients it is especially important to focus not only on sexual function and performance, but on “touching, and non-intercourse sexual relations; I help them rekindle the affection and emotional closeness,” Dr. Rodino said.

Address any neuropsychological issues.

To find out whether the sudden marital conflict may stem from early mental cognitive impairment (M.C.I.) —or to rule M.C.I. out and find the real source of trouble — make sure the spouse obtains a full neuropsychological evaluation. If it is M.C.I., “it convinces everybody that there is more than just abstinence, it’s not a personality problem — and they need to address it,” said Dr. Dale.

Don’t overlook simple solutions

“Sometimes a memory problem is something simple, like low Vitamin B12, that is easily fixed,” said Dr. Dale. “Or hypothyroidism, which is quite common, can affect memory.”

In that case, doctors administer synthroid, a thyroid hormone replacement that Dr. Dale said is “very safe, with almost no side effects.” Other changes in behavior can also be the result of a simple problem or be remedied by a change in medication. Don’t assume the worst.

Put an end to the blame game

Help reframe the problem. “Even if dementia is involved, let them know it’s not that their partner hates them, it’s that he is having cognitive changes,” said Dr. Linda Waite, director of the Center on Demography and Economics of Aging at NORC/University of Chicago.

“When you re-frame it like that, it’s easier for the spouse not to take it personally and not blame themselves and feel it’s something they did,” said Dr. Waite. “It can make a difference.”

A 2009 study in the journal Gerontologist supports this notion: “Care partners likely would benefit from strategies aimed at reducing self-blame, enhancing coping skills … and communicating effectively with the person with M.C.I and significant others.”

Separate the anxiety

Divide and conquer — time away improves time together.

“Older couples, especially those with disabilities, spend way too much time together,” said Dr. Lisa Gwyther, director of the Duke Center for Aging Family Support Program. “It would be a problem for any couple.”

Caregivers can best help by arranging for an activity or outing that each spouse can do separately so they can return to each other refreshed and more cheerful. “That can help a lot,” said Dr. Gwyther.

Dial down the tone

For spouse caregivers, it is important to watch not just what is said, but how it is said. In any relationship, tone influences our interpretation of what our partner says. Those with M.C.I. will especially react to tone, rather than the substance of the exchange, Dr. Dale said.

“Ratchet down the emotions, repeat things calmly,” Dr. Dale said. The person with cognitive problems doesn’t know he asked the same question five times — he only knows that you sound angry at him for no reason he can fathom. One spouse’s anger fuels the other’s, and pretty soon there is a fight or withdrawal.

Zero tolerance for violence

If a spouse becomes violent, “that’s an entirely different issue,” said Dr. Schlossberg. “Call in an expert on family violence” or the police.

Help them help others

Nobody likes feeling dependent and having to ask for help. Finding a way to have your loved one volunteer, help others and continue to feel useful can improve moods and marital interactions – even if M.C.I. is involved.

With one couple Dr. Gwyther saw, the wife was not only “driving her husband nuts because she was asking him the same questions over and over,” but she could no longer drive and deliver food in a mobile meals program as she used to. “So her husband agreed to be the driver — and she took the meals to the doors,” Dr. Gwyther recalled.”It made her feel good to continue to do that — and it made them feel good to do it together.”

Caregiver, heal thyself

You have heard it a million times here and elsewhere but, unlike us, this advice never gets old.

If you are exhausted from caregiving, you are bound to be cranky, and that will make everybody around you edgy and irritable, too — especially the spouse who requires your care. Taking the time to look after your own health and engage in activities that bring you pleasure can go a long way toward reducing stress and reestablishing a peaceful balance in a marriage.

How have you coped with tensions in your marriage — or in your elderly parents’ marriage, as you care for them in their old age? Share in the comments below.

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DealBook: Massachusetts Fines Morgan Stanley Over Facebook I.P.O.

Morgan Stanley is paying for its role in the troubled stock market debut of Facebook.

On Monday, Massachusetts’s top financial authority fined the bank $5 million for violating securities laws, the first major regulatory action tied to Facebook’s initial public stock offering.

William F. Galvin, the secretary of the commonwealth of Massachusetts, accused the bank of improperly influencing the stock offering process. The regulator’s consent order asserts that a senior Morgan Stanley banker coached Facebook on how to share information with stock analysts who cover the social media company, a potential violation of a landmark legal settlement with Wall Street. While the banker never contacted the analysts directly, his actions, Mr. Galvin said, put ordinary investors at a disadvantage because they lacked access to the same research.

“The broader message here is we are going to use any means possible to enforce the strict code in place about giving out information,” Mr. Galvin said in an interview. “We want to get the message across that if Wall Street wants to get confidence back, they can’t disadvantage Main Street.”

The consent order did not name the Morgan Stanley banker, referring to him as a “senior investment banker.” But information in the regulator’s order indicated that it was Michael Grimes, one of the nation’s most influential technology bankers.

“Morgan Stanley is committed to robust compliance with both the letter and the spirit of all applicable regulations and laws,” a Morgan Stanley spokeswoman, Mary Claire Delaney, said. Morgan Stanley, in settling the case, neither admitted nor denied guilt.

Mr. Grimes, through Ms. Delaney, declined to comment. Although the banker was referred to in the order, Mr. Grimes has not been personally accused of any wrongdoing.

The Facebook public offering was one of the most highly anticipated debuts of the last decade. In the run-up to the offering, investor interest was robust, prompting the company to increase the size of the offering and raise the share price to $38.

But the I.P.O. quickly turned into a debacle. The first day of trading was plagued with problems. The shares quickly fell below their offering price. The stock closed on Monday at $26.75.

Since the offering, Mr. Galvin and other regulators have opened wide-ranging investigations into Facebook and the banks that handled its debut. The continuing inquiries by the Securities and Exchange Commission and the Financial Industry Regulatory Authority are examining how the banks disseminated nonpublic information to big investors — and whether it conflicted with Facebook’s public disclosures.

Regulators are also looking into Nasdaq, the exchange where Facebook trades. They are questioning whether the exchange failed to properly test its trading systems, which faltered during the stock offering.

The Massachusetts regulator is focused on Morgan Stanley’s communications with analysts.

Shortly before the Facebook offering, analysts at several banks lowered their growth estimates for the social network. The move came after Facebook issued an amended prospectus, detailing a potential slowdown in revenue.

A Facebook executive, whose name was not given in the order but who was referred to as the treasurer, also reached out to analysts. Mr. Galvin’s order asserted that the executive, in private conversations with analysts, had provided additional information on the revenue. The order indicated that Mr. Grimes was personally involved in the decision to file the new prospectus and to have Facebook communicate with analysts.

“Morgan Stanley’s senior investment banker did everything but make the phone calls himself,” the Massachusetts regulator said in a statement, referring to Mr. Grimes. “He not only rehearsed with Facebook’s treasurer who placed the calls to the research analysts, but he also drafted the majority of the script Facebook’s treasurer utilized.”

Just 12 minutes after filing the amended prospectus with regulators on May 9, the Facebook treasurer phoned Wall Street research analysts from her hotel, according to the order. She had a 15-minute conversation with Morgan Stanley analysts, and then spoke with JPMorgan Chase and other banks.

The calls provided the analysts with additional information that did not appear in the amended prospectus, the order said. The conversations, for example, included “quantitative information regarding Facebook’s” second-quarter 2012 projections.

This behavior, Mr. Galvin said, crossed the line, violating the regulatory settlement on stock research that Morgan Stanley and other companies signed in 2003. The agreement limits the communication between bankers and research analysts and bans companies from influencing stock reports to try to bolster banking operations.

The Morgan Stanley case falls into a curious gray area.

Bankers spend months preparing companies to go public, a role that includes providing guidance on research analysts. In this instance, Mr. Grimes did not personally place the calls, which would have been a clear violation of securities laws.

In his testimony before the Massachusetts regulator’s staff, Mr. Grimes indicated that the bank had pushed for Facebook to file publicly an amended prospectus to avoid “the appearance” that the company was sharing information with a select group of clients rather than broadly with investors. Mr. Grimes, the order noted, consulted with Morgan Stanley and Facebook lawyers. Ultimately, Facebook’s chief financial officer, David A. Ebersman, e-mailed the company’s board to say that the new filing would “help us to continue to deliver accurate” information without “someone claiming we are providing any selective disclosure.”

Mr. Grimes, in testimony with the regulator, further defended his role. While the Facebook treasurer was making the calls, he noted that “I was far down the hall so I wouldn’t hear anything.”

Even so, Mr. Grimes, according to the consent order, e-mailed Mr. Ebersman to say that the Facebook treasurer “was a champ in the hotel tonight,” after the treasurer wrapped up the calls.

A version of this article appeared in print on 12/18/2012, on page B1 of the NewYork edition with the headline: Morgan Stanley Is Fined Over Facebook I.P.O. Role.

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The Caucus: Congressman Said to Be Pick for South Carolina Senate Seat

9:47 a.m. | Updated Gov. Nikki Haley of South Carolina has chosen Representative Tim Scott to replace Jim DeMint in the United States Senate, according to three Republican officials. The move will make Mr. Scott the first black senator from the South since the late 19th century.

The governor will make the announcement at noon at the Statehouse in Columbia, S.C. She began informing the roster of finalists on Monday morning about her decision to go with Mr. Scott, who was the preferred candidate of many conservative leaders and groups in Washington.

Ms. Haley seriously considered a number of potential contenders, particularly Jenny Sanford, the ex-wife of former Gov. Mark Sanford, who had been supportive of Ms. Haley in her race two years ago. But in choosing Mr. Scott, she selected a senator with a strong conservative voting record during his two years in Congress.

Additionally, Mr. Scott offers a unique story and background, one that is in scant supply in their party right now. Raised by a single mother, he was, by his account, a lost child who struggled with school and with life until a Chick-fil-A franchise owner took him on as a protégé and schooled him in conservative principles.

“Coming from a single-parent household and almost flunking out of high school,” Mr. Scott said in 2010, during his bid for the House, “my hope is I will take that experience and help people bring out the best that they can be.”

Speaking on condition of anonymity, three Republican officials familiar with the process confirmed to The New York Times the decision to select Mr. Scott. Aides to the governor declined to comment before the noon announcement.

Mr. DeMint announced earlier this month that he would retire two years into his second Senate term to run the Heritage Foundation, a conservative think tank based in Washington. In Mr. Scott, Ms. Haley has chosen a lawmaker with very similar views to Mr. DeMint on all matters of public policy from taxes to guns to social issues.

Mr. Scott, who lives in Charleston, will no doubt be missed among many of his House Republican colleagues. “There is not a kinder, more humble, sweet-spirited person,” Representative Trey Gowdy, one of Mr. Scott’s freshman colleagues from South Carolina, who was also considered for the job, said in an interview last week. “That is somewhat antithetical to what you’d expect at this level of politics. “

Besides Mrs. Sanford and Mr. Gowdy, Mr. Scott bested several other finalists including former Attorney General Henry McMaster and Catherine Templeton, the state health agency director. A rush to fill Mr. Scott’s seat will now ensue with various contenders already licking their chops.

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Modern Etiquette: A bit of netiquette will keep Christmas real

LONDON (Reuters) – Christmas is a convivial time of year when people get together for celebrations and conversation. It’s all about human contact so it’s important that you’re discriminating about how you use your digital devices.

It’s fine if they’re used to facilitate get-togethers and spread seasonal cheer. But Christmas is a real, not a virtual event, so it’s important to discard the phones, tablets and computers and enjoy festive celebrations in the real world.

Christmas cards are still an invaluable and personal way of keeping in touch with far-flung friends and relations.

In these straitened times, however, you might want to cut down the number of cards you send, so it’s fine to explain to your nearest and dearest that you won’t be sending them cards – a personalized seasonal message by text, phone call or email, sent out to individuals, is quite acceptable.

Avoid sending out generic e-cards. They’re lazy and impersonal, and many people will find them lacking in Christmas spirit or just baffling.

If you’re emailing instead of sending a Christmas card, make sure that you send out unique – and individual – messages to each of your recipients. Group emails, like round robins, are to be avoided.

It’s fine to put general seasonal messages on social networking sites, but avoid posting compromising photos.

This is the time of year when we all let our hair down, but not everyone will appreciate the evidence being posted for all to see in cyberspace.

Don’t get too carried away with seasonal cyber-cheer. Spamming your friends and followers with endless Christmas wishes and updates will soon get tedious.

Christmas Day is all about socializing with family and friends, and enjoying good food and good conversation. So don’t spend the big day glued to your phone, rather than interacting with your family.

Ban all phones from the Christmas table.

Eating together is all about sociability and it’s a real insult to the host and/or cook to be transfixed by your texts rather than the turkey and table talk.

Be a good digital host.

Technology is part of our everyday life and Christmas is no exception. If you have friends or family staying in your home, make sure that you have your WiFi password to hand. Offer them access to your network, and hope that everyone adheres to good festive netiquette.

Christmas is the perfect time to make a video call, but choose your timing carefully. Nobody wants to be talking to virtual visitors during lunch or present opening.

Remember the power of the written word.

If you are the lucky recipient of a generous present or lavish hospitality, then hand-writing a proper thank you letter is a much more elegant gesture than texting or emailing, and will be noted and appreciated. It is fine to email or text your thanks for small presents.

(This story has been refiled to fix dateline)

(Jo Bryant is an etiquette advisor and editor at Debrett’s, the UK authority on etiquette and modern manners (www.debretts.com). Any opinions expressed are her own. Debrett’s “Netiquette” is a definitive guide to digital dilemmas and outlines a code of manners for modern communication.)

(Editing by Paul Casciato)

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Hollywood hacker honed his skills for years

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Long before Christopher Chaney made headlines by hacking into the email accounts of such stars as Scarlett Johansson and Christina Aguilera, two other women say he harassed and stalked them online.

The women, who both knew Chaney, say their lives have been irreparably damaged by his actions. One has anxiety and panic attacks; the other is depressed and paranoid. Both say Chaney was calculated, cruel and creepy: he sent nude photos they had taken of themselves to their family members.

Their accounts as cybervictims serve as a cautionary tale for those, even major celebrities, who snap personal, and sometimes revealing photos.

Chaney, 35, of Jacksonville, Fla., is set to be sentenced Monday and could face up to 60 years in prison after pleading guilty to nine felony counts, including wiretapping and unauthorized access to a computer, for hacking into email accounts of Aguilera, Johansson and Mila Kunis.

Aguilera said in a statement that although she knows that she's often in the limelight, Chaney took from her some of the private moments she shares with friends.

"That feeling of security can never be given back and there is no compensation that can restore the feeling one has from such a large invasion of privacy," Aguilera said.

Prosecutors said Chaney illegally accessed the email accounts of more than 50 people in the entertainment industry between November 2010 and October 2011. Aguilera, Kunis and Johansson agreed to have their identities made public with the hopes that the exposure about the case would provide awareness about online intrusion.

The biggest spectacle in the case was the revelation that nude photos taken by Johansson herself and meant for her then-husband Ryan Reynolds were taken by Chaney and put on the Internet. The "Avengers" actress is not expected to attend the hearing, but she has videotaped a statement that may be shown in court.

Some of Aguilera's photos appeared online after Chaney sent an email from the account of her stylist, Simone Harouche, to Aguilera asking the singer for scantily clad photographs, prosecutors said.

Chaney forwarded many of the photographs to two gossip websites and another hacker, but there wasn't evidence he profited from his scheme, authorities said.

For the two women, who were only identified in court papers by their initials, their encounters with Chaney went from friendly to frightening.

One of the women, identified by the initials T.B., said she first met Chaney online in 1999 when she was 13 years old. She began talking with a girl named "Jessica" that later turned out to actually be Chaney.

Chaney figured out his victims' email passwords and security questions and set a feature to forward a copy of every email they received to an account he controlled.

The woman said that in February 2009 her friends contacted her and let her know that several nude photos of her were uploaded to a public gallery. A year later, Chaney sent a link to a photo-sharing website he created and had her nude pictures sent to her father.

She said she spends several hours a week monitoring the Internet for her personal information and breaks into a sweat whenever she receives a Google alert email notifying her that her name has been mentioned online.

In her letter to U.S. District Judge S. James Otero, she said she thinks Chaney won't stop and she still feels like he has control over her reputation, relationships and career.

Chaney was arrested in October 2011 as part of a yearlong investigation of celebrity hacking that authorities dubbed "Operation Hackerazzi." Chaney's computer hard drive contained numerous private celebrity photos and a document that compiled their extensive personal data, according to a search warrant.

Chaney has since apologized for what he has done, but prosecutors are recommending a nearly six-year prison sentence for him. They also want him to pay $150,000 in restitution, including about $66,000 to Johansson.

The second woman, identified in court papers only as T.C., said she was a close friend of Chaney's for more than a decade. As early as 2003 she noticed her passwords were being reset and email she hadn't looked at had been read by someone. She also said Chaney forwarded an invitation to an online photo gallery to her brother, who eventually saw naked pictures of her.

The woman said the night before she got married, Chaney deleted her email account and she was unable to correspond with a notary until she created a new email address.

In her letter to the judge, the woman said she's been broken by the physical and emotional toll and can no longer recall what it was like to have a private life.

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Experts Say Thimerosal Ban Would Imperil Global Health Efforts

A group of prominent doctors and public health experts warns in articles to be published Monday in the journal Pediatrics that banning thimerosal, a mercury compound used as a preservative in vaccines, would devastate public health efforts in developing countries.

Representatives from governments around the world will meet in Geneva next month in a session convened by the United Nations Environmental Program to prepare a global treaty to reduce health hazards by banning certain products and processes that release mercury into the environment.

But a proposal that the ban include thimerosal, which has been used since the 1930s to prevent bacterial and fungal contamination in multidose vials of vaccines, has drawn strong criticism from pediatricians.

They say that the ethyl-mercury compound is critical for vaccine use in the developing world, where multidose vials are a mainstay.

Banning it would require switching to single-dose vials for vaccines, which would cost far more and require new networks of cold storage facilities and additional capacity for waste disposal, the authors of the articles said.

“The result would be millions of people, predominantly in low- and middle-income countries, with significantly restricted access to lifesaving vaccines for many years,” they wrote.

In the United States, thimerosal has not been used in children’s vaccines since the early 2000s after the Food and Drug Administration and public health groups came under pressure from advocacy groups that believed there was an association between the compound and autism in children.

At the time, few, if any, studies had evaluated the compound’s safety, so the American Academy of Pediatrics called for its elimination in children’s vaccines, a recommendation that the authors argued was made under the principle of “do no harm.”

Since then, however, there has been a lot of research, and the evidence is overwhelming that thimerosal is not harmful, the authors said. Louis Z. Cooper, a former president of the academy and one of the authors, said that if the members had known then what they know now, they never would have recommended against using it. “Science clearly documented that we can’t find hazards from thimerosal in vaccines,” he said. “The preservative plays a critical role in distribution of vaccine to the global community. It was a no-brainer what our position needed to be.”

Advocacy groups have lobbied to include the substance in the ban, and some global health experts worry that because the government representatives due to vote next month are for the most part ministers of environment, not health, they may not appreciate the consequences of banning thimerosal in vaccines. The Pediatrics articles are timed to raise a warning before the meeting.

“If you don’t know about this, and you’re a minister of environment who doesn’t usually deal with health, it’s confusing,” said Heidi Larson, senior lecturer at the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine, who runs the Vaccine Confidence Project.

In an open letter to the United Nations Environmental Program and the World Health Organization this year, the Coalition for Mercury-Free Drugs, a nonprofit group that supports the ban, disputed the assertion that scientific studies had offered proof that thimerosal is safe, and urged member states to include it in the ban.

That it is being used in developing countries, but not developed countries, is an “injustice,” the letter said.

The World Health Organization has also weighed in. In April, a group of experts on immunization wrote in a report that they were “gravely concerned that current global discussions may threaten access to thimerosal-containing vaccines without scientific justification.”

Dr. Larson said she believed that the efforts of pediatricians and global health experts, including the W.H.O., would influence the negotiations in Geneva and that the compound would most likely be left out of the final ban.

“You can’t just pull the plug on something without having a plan for an alternative,” she said.

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DealBook: First Quantum Offers $5.2 Billion for Inmet Mining

9:30 a.m. | Updated

LONDON – The mining company First Quantum Minerals has begun an improved takeover offer of 5.1 billion Canadian dollars, or $5.2 billion, for a rival, Inmet Mining, in its latest effort to buy the copper producer.

First Quantum, which operates mines from Australia to Zambia, said late on Sunday that it had offered Inmet Mining’s shareholders a cash-and-stock deal valued at a $72.87 for each share in the Canadian miner.

The renewed bid for Inmet Mining represents a slight increase from a previously rejected $70.85-a-share takeover approach for the copper producer, and a 36 percent premium on the mining company’s closing share price before it rejected First Quantun’s initial advances.

Inmet Mining’s board had rebuffed an earlier offer in late November valued at $63.26 a share.

The proposed deal follows the announcement of the $32 billion takeover by the commodities trader Glencore for the mining giant Xstrata. Despite concerns that a downturn in Asian economies could hurt short-term demand, companies are seeking to gain access to metals and minerals in expectation that fast-growing economies will soon rebound.

First Quantum, which is based in Vancouver, British Columbia, said the proposed deal would create one of the world’s leading copper producers that could produce around 1.3 million metric tons of the metal each year by 2018.

The mining company said it had taken its takeover approach directly to Inmet Mining’s shareholders, and called on the company’s board to reconsider its multibillion-dollar offer. First Quantum added that it had held discussions with a number of Inmet Mining’s top investors about the proposed deal. The company did not say which investors it had contacted.

“We believe strongly in the prospects of a combination for our two companies,” First Quantum’s chief executive, Philip Pascall, said in a statement. “Our clear preference remains to engage with Inmet, as we believe strongly in the compelling strategic and financial merit of the transaction.”

Inmet Mining said on Monday that it had not yet received First Quantam’s offer, and advised shareholders not to take any action until the company had evaluated the new approach.

The board “will recommend a course of action that is in the best interests of Inmet and its stakeholders,” the company said in a brief statement.

Inmet Mining, which is based in Toronto, owns the Cobre Panama copper project, one of the world’s largest remaining untapped deposits of the metal. The mining company said it expected to spend more than $6 billion to develop the site, and recently announced a 27 percent increase in the project’s copper deposits.

First Quantum said that it would finance the takeover through its cash reserves and $2.5 billion of bank credit.

Jefferies International, Goldman Sachs and RBC Capital Markets are advising First Quantum on the deal.

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Children in Connecticut School Were All Shot Multiple Times

The gunman in the Connecticut shooting blasted his way into the elementary school and then sprayed the children with bullets, first from a distance and then at close range, hitting some of them as many as 11 times, as he fired a semiautomatic rifle loaded with ammunition designed for maximum damage, officials said Saturday.

The state’s chief medical examiner, H. Wayne Carver II, said all of the 20 children and 6 adults gunned down at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Conn., had been struck more than once in the fusillade.

He said their wounds were “all over, all over.”

“This is a very devastating set of injuries,” he said at a briefing in Newtown. When he was asked if they had suffered after they were hit, he said, “Not for very long.”

The disclosures came as the police released the victims’ names. They ranged in age from 6 to 56.

The children — 12 girls and 8 boys — were all first-graders. One little girl had just turned 7 on Tuesday. All of the adults were women.

The White House announced that President Obama would visit Newtown on Sunday evening to meet with victims’ families and speak at an interfaith vigil.

On Saturday, as families began to claim the bodies of lost loved ones, some sought privacy. Others spoke out. Robbie Parker, whose 6-year-old daughter, Emilie, was among the dead, choked back tears as he described her as “bright, creative and very loving.”

But, he added, “as we move on from what happened here, what happened to so many people, let us not let it turn into something that defines us.”

On a day of anguish and mourning, other details emerged about how, but not why, the devastating attack had happened, turning a place where children were supposed to be safe into a national symbol of heartbreak and horror.

The Newtown school superintendent said the principal and the school psychologist had been shot as they tried to tackle the gunman in order to protect their students.

That was just one act of bravery during the maelstrom. There were others, said the superintendent, Janet Robinson. She said one teacher had helped children escape through a window. Another shoved students into a room with a kiln and held them there until the danger had passed.

It was not enough: First responders described a scene of carnage in the two classrooms where the children were killed, with no movement and no one left to save, everything perfectly still.

The gunman, identified as Adam Lanza, 20, had grown up in Newtown and had an uncle who had been a police officer in New Hampshire. The uncle, James M. Champion, issued a statement expressing “heartfelt sorrow,” adding that the family was struggling “to comprehend the tremendous loss we all share.”

A spokesman for the Connecticut State Police, Lt. J. Paul Vance, said investigators continued to press for information about Mr. Lanza, and had collected “some very good evidence.” He also said that the one survivor of the killings, a woman who was shot and wounded at the school, would be “instrumental” in piecing together what had happened.

But it was unclear why Mr. Lanza had gone on the attack. A law enforcement official said investigators had not found a suicide note or messages that spoke to the planning of such a deadly attack. And Ms. Robinson, the school superintendent, said they had found no connection between Mr. Lanza’s mother and the school, in contrast to accounts from authorities on Friday that said she had worked there.

Dr. Carver said it appeared that all of the children had been killed by a “long rifle” that Mr. Lanza was carrying; a .223 Bushmaster semiautomatic rifle was one of the several weapons police found in the school. The other guns were semiautomatic pistols, including a .10 mm Glock and a .9 mm Sig Sauer.

Reporting was contributed by Matt Flegenheimer, Thomas Kaplan and Ray Rivera from Connecticut, and Joseph Goldstein, N. R. Kleinfield, William K. Rashbaum, Marc Santora, Michael Schwirtz and Wendy Ruderman from New York and Michael S. Schmidt from Washington.

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The Surface might be even more overpriced than the iPad

Everyone knows that Apple (AAPL) gets away with charging a premium for its wares because its fans have shown they’re willing to pay more money for their favorite products than fans of, say, Samsung (005930) and Amazon (AMZN) are willing to pay. This practice has led to enormous gross margins for Apple products but has not spawned many imitators because few companies command the sort of loyalty that Apple does. But Microsoft (MSFT) apparently believes it can pull off the trick with its Surface tablet, which is actually priced higher relative to its component costs than Apple’s iPad.

[More from BGR: Has the iPhone peaked? Apple’s iPhone 4S seen outselling iPhone 5]

Fortune uses some data from IHS iSuppli to show that the 32GB Surface’s screen, processor, battery, RAM and storage cost $ 271, or $ 22 less than the same components of a 32GB version of the new iPad. What this means is that based solely on the cost of its components, the Surface would haul in a profit of $ 315 for every 32GB Surface sold while Apple would make $ 296 for every new iPad sold. This doesn’t take into account manufacturing and marketing costs, of course, so we can’t look at it as a definitive count of each tablet’s gross margin.

[More from BGR: Sony’s PlayStation 4 could lose to the next Xbox before it’s even released]

All the same, Microsoft’s belief that it can grab iPad-like margins for the Surface stands in stark contrast with Amazon and Google (GOOG), who are making little if any money selling the Kindle Fire HD and the Nexus 7, respectively.

This article was originally published by BGR

Gadgets News Headlines – Yahoo! News

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Springsteen, Gaga join Stones; Newtown noted

NEW YORK (AP) — Only at a Rolling Stones concert could appearances by Bruce Springsteen and Lady Gaga seem almost like afterthoughts.

Those superstars and other top acts including the Black Keys and John Mayer jammed with the Stones on Saturday night, winding down a series of concerts celebrating the 50th year of rock's most enduring band (the occasion was also marked by a pay-per-view special).

The Boss rocked out with the band on out "Tumbling Dice"; Gaga matched Mick Jagger shimmy-for-shimmy on "Gimme Shelter"; the Black Keys joined on "Who Do You Love," and John Mayer and Gary Clark Jr. showed their considerable guitar chops alongside Keith Richards and Ronnie Wood on "Goin' Down."

But the Stones would not be upstaged. While the sold-out crowd roared with each special guest, it was the aging but dynamic foursome that generated the most excitement of the night, as they put new energy into their decades-old catalog of hits, including "It's Only Rock 'N Roll (But I Like It)," ''Start Me Up," ''Brown Sugar," ''Sympathy for the Devil" and more.

The band took a moment to acknowledge the shooting deaths of 20 children and six adults at an elementary school Friday in Newtown, Conn. "We just wanted to send our love and condolences to all the people who lost loved ones in the tragedy in Connecticut," Jagger early on in the concert as the audience applauded. Jagger noted the entire world was feeling the pain of the stunned nation.

But it was the only somber moment in an a frenetic show that showed why the Stones are considered by many to be the greatest rock band, and belied the much-discussed advanced age of the group's lineup (their ages range between 65 and 71).

Jagger himself poked fun at the senior citizen status of the band and their fans; speaking of the pay-per-view crowd at home, he joked: "Some of you have got your grandchildren watching you."

But few acts in their so-called prime would have been able to match the energy the Stones radiated onstage. The group had the crowd on its feet for the entire show as Jagger gyrated across the stage, his voice in top form. Both Wood and Richards dazzled on guitar (Richards got a raucous, sustained ovation as he took over vocals on two songs). And Charlie Watts kept the beat strong on the drums.

Before performing in London together late last month for the first of the concerts, the Stones hadn't performed in concert together since 2007. Going into these shows, there was some speculation that Saturday's concert, held at the Prudential Center, might be their last.

Earlier in the evening, Jagger teased that the concert might signal the end: "This could be the last time; I don't know," he said. But by the end of the evening, it seemed clear that the question was not when the Stones would return, but when.

"This is the last show of our anniversary tour, and we hope to see you all again soon," Jagger said.

Perhaps the night's most special guest was Mick Taylor, the former Stones guitarist who was part of some of their biggest moments from 1969 to 1975, when he left the group. He rejoined his band mates (and the man who replaced him, Wood) onstage for a powerful performance of "Midnight Rambler".

At the concert's end, while other special guests gave their final bows and left the stage, Jagger motioned for Taylor to stay, and the five took their final bow together.

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Nekesa Mumbi Moody is the AP's Global Entertainment & Lifestyles Editor. Follow her at http://twitter.com/nekesamumbi

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